Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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