Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
