i don't like sucking hair
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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