grandma shit on top of the toilet
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize