ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
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