Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Randomize
