so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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