Redeem this text for a blowjob
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
