i can't believe i had my finger in that
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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