Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
