Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
