Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
