I feel like abortions should bother me more
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
