What a fucking waste of an outfit
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
