we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
