If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
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