I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
