the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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