Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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