you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
