doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
