Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
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