ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
