Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
