nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
50% drunk capacity currently
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
