People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
