Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
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