They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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