ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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