Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Randomize
