people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
