This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
