That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
