i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
