Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
