I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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