Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Watching her eat just hurts me
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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