Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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