Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
