I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
