She went from zero to smokin in five shots
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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