I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
