so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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