I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize