I'm really into asian looking animals
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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