in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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