I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize