No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize