just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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