think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
