summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
