If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
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