Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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