i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
