Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
