god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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