Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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