I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
If I die, sorry about rent.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
My feet surprised me
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize