1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
