So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
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She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
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THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
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