real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
