okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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