I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
