Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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